We all know what an ostrich does when it is scared: it sticks its head in the sand. If you google "What does ostrich with head in sand mean?" this is what you get:
to deliberately refuse to accept the truth about something unpleasant. Don't be an ostrich and bury your head in the sand, hoping your problems will disappear. -Easy Learning Idioms Dictionary
I have unfortunately witnessed too many people practicing “Ostrich Management” while going through a divorce. I get it: this is a terrible time in your life and you just want it to be over and get on with your life. But now is definitely not the time to put your head in the sand and avoid negotiating for your best interest. And I have good news: with a Divorce Lending Specalist, you can pull your head out of the sand because he or she will guide you every step of the way.
In a lot of situations where one spouse is bossy or dominant, that person thinks the other will just bow to his/her will. Don’t let that happen to you! The future will be much brighter if you set the framework for security and stability now. Divorce is not only emotional, it can be messy. You may have kids you want to protect and shield from the disruption of divorce. By being focused on the steps of the process, you are protecting your children’s future. So if it is hard to be focused on you then focus on your kids and put the oxygen mask on yourself before you attempt to help others.
Here are two examples of how you can be pro-active:
· Make sure you don’t get stuck with any debt that is not yours
· If you are keeping the house, ask for a refi to get the ex off title and ask for it early because you also need to make sure you qualify for the refinance before final divorce. If there is too much debt, maybe a disbursed Owelty (this is a term for paying off joint debt using the Owelty lien) is in your best interest.
We have helped thousands of clients who otherwise would not have been able to qualify by reviewing debt, pre underwriting income and assets, and working with the attorney to make sure s/he has the info needed for the final decree. We also will make sure you won’t be spending too much of your income on housing after the divorce is final.
So pull that head out of the sand start thinking about/planning for the future! My recommendation is to make sure you are choosing someone who works in Divorce Lending on a daily basis. It is a specialty and fewer than 1 in 1,000 loan officers understand what to do. A Divorce Lending Specialist can be a great help and support for you.